Felt off all day. Not sure what’s going on. I’ve been sleeping better, so maybe I’m just getting balanced back out. This whole week has been like this – not very motivated.
Discipline is the only thing I have pushing me forward.
Got a lot of kick-ass projects I’m working on. Should be super excited about them. Everything’s just kind of… blah.
But I showed up anyway.
The Funny Bone Observation
Went to Funny Bone Friday night just to watch other comics. That’s an important thing to do in this field – step outside the picture frame and watch other people do it in real time. See what they’re doing, watch them on different stages, assimilate things.
I have a problem on the Funny Bone stage. Always backing up and hitting the wall. So I was there literally just observing, watching the stage, trying to figure out my footing.
Realized something: at Funny Bone, the guests are really, really close to the stage. I think that’s why I keep bumping into the wall – I’m backing away from the guests.
Good to know. I’ll be conscious of that moving forward.
Tonight: Running on Empty
Didn’t want to go to Purple Quarters. Tried talking myself out of it.
But I’m pretty good at making myself do the thing I don’t want to do, especially when I know I’m working towards something bigger.
Got there. Felt off all night.
Tried a completely different delivery style – way more calm, way more relaxed. Don’t know if it landed or not. It was a tough fucking crowd. Great crowd, love them to death. Just not my demographic.
I’m a 50-year-old separated man with an autistic child. The audience was primarily LGBTQ+. Not good or bad – I get along with everybody there fine. My perspective and their perspective on life just aren’t the same. My comedy doesn’t land as hard with them.
But I think it’s relevant in some ways.
The Wrong Room for the Right Material
Went headline first on my racial stuff. Completely wrong room for that bit. And I didn’t have anywhere to go outside of that because that’s what I was planning on working on tonight.
No backup plan. Just commitment to the experiment.
I tried “Black women communicate intimacy better” with a way different delivery than I’ve done before. I think it’s way better. But I’m not sure because I gotta try it with different audiences.
But I think it’s funny.
Just riffed and let it flow. Saw the four-minute light, wrapped it up. Not sure how close I was to five minutes. No hard punchline jokes. Just kind of letting it go.
Some jokes I wanted to do didn’t get done. But it is what it is.
The Grind
All in all, good night. Not great. Not bad. Just.
That’s where I’m at. Definitely in the grind. Motivation is out the door. This is all discipline at the moment.
Trying different delivery styles feels important right now. That’s an important step for me. I’ve just been kind of letting the flow happen, but now I’m trying to be more conscious about how I deliver things.
Throwing stuff at the wall, seeing if it sticks.
Boxing Values
You know what? This is way better than the suck of boxing. In boxing, some days you just gotta keep fucking doing it even when you don’t want to. You show up bruised, hurt, not feeling it. But you wrap your hands and you go.
Comedy’s the same discipline. Same showing up when you don’t feel like it. Same commitment to the grind.
But I’m not bruised. I’m not hurt. I’m just… flat.
And that’s actually easier. The body shows up fine. The mind is what needs the push.
In boxing, we say: you don’t need motivation when you have discipline. Motivation is what gets you started. Discipline is what keeps you going when motivation runs out.
I started this journey on motivation. Three months in, I’m running on discipline.
And you know what? That’s exactly how it’s supposed to work.
The Unsexy Part
This is the unsexy part of the journey nobody talks about. The nights where you show up and it’s just okay. The weeks where everything feels blah but you keep moving forward anyway.
Not every night is a breakthrough. Not every set is a revelation. Sometimes you just show up, try something new, see what happens, and go home.
The grind isn’t sexy. It’s not Instagram-worthy. It’s procrastinating for an hour before writing because you don’t want to, then doing it anyway because you know you will eventually so you might as well get it done.
It’s going to a mic when you feel off, trying a new delivery style with the wrong crowd, experimenting with material that doesn’t quite land, and walking away thinking “good, not great, not bad, just.”
What Discipline Looks Like
Discipline looks like this: showing up on the nights when motivation is gone. Trying new things even when you’re not feeling it. Working on material even when the crowd isn’t your demographic. Writing the post even when you procrastinate for an hour first.
This week has been all discipline. No spark. No fire. Just putting one foot in front of the other because that’s what the commitment requires.
And somehow, that’s more important than the nights when everything clicks. Because the nights when everything clicks? Those are easy. You’d show up for those no matter what.
The nights like tonight – where you feel flat, the crowd’s not your people, the material’s not quite working, and you’re just going through the motions – those are the nights that build the foundation.
Those are the nights that separate the people who wanted to try comedy from the people who are actually doing it.
Three Months In
I’m three months into this journey. The novelty has worn off. The initial excitement has settled into routine. The “holy shit I’m doing stand-up” feeling has been replaced with “fuck, I gotta go do stand-up tonight.”
And that’s progress.
Because now it’s not about the high. It’s not about the rush. It’s about the work. The commitment. The discipline.
Boxing taught me this: the champion isn’t made in the ring. The champion is made in the gym on the days when nobody’s watching and everything hurts and you don’t want to be there.
Comedy’s the same. The comedian isn’t made in the viral clip. The comedian is made on Tuesday night at Purple Quarters when you feel like shit, the crowd’s not your demographic, your material’s not clicking, and you show up anyway.
Good. Not great. Not bad. Just.
And some nights, that’s enough.
What do you think – how do you keep showing up when motivation runs out? And what does discipline look like in your world?
