February 13, 2026 – Steve’s Hot Dogs
This is weird.
I’m at a crossroads.
The original goal was simple. Produce a one-hour show. Write the book. Three-year timeline.
It took five months.
Not just that. A whole bunch of other cool things happened along the way. So technically the first stage of the project is done.
And that’s the problem.
All of my training says level up immediately. Push. Scale. Expand. Don’t sit still.
But I don’t have unlimited resources. I have momentum. I have ideas. I have a few strong lanes opening. But the leap to the next tier? That takes a different kind of capital.
And I didn’t expect to be here this fast.
So now what?
Steve’s was a tough room tonight. Rough bucket crowd. Maybe twenty people. The jokes didn’t really land. The connection did. Energy moved. But not a killer set.
And that’s fine.
What’s not fine is the headspace.
This is a danger zone for me.
Every time I’ve hit a big milestone in my life, this is where I’ve spiraled. Big goal achieved. Adrenaline fades. Then what?
People don’t realize what it takes to write a book the way I write. It’s emotional. It pulls things out of you. That part is done. Maybe a couple rewrites. The audiobook has some spots I want to adjust. Early feedback is good. It’s already led to powerful conversations.
That should feel like a clean victory.
Instead, it feels like open air.
I’ve got trips coming up. New shows forming. A sequel chapter from Loading Identity coming out as a standalone piece. That was necessary. Stripping identity deserved its own lane. Maybe the final form is Quantum Identity. Maybe that’s fiction. Maybe that’s dangerous.
I don’t know.
Comedy is still fun. I like Steve’s. I think I’m making genuine friends. That matters more than I thought it would.
But comedy is also a business.
There are at least twenty comics in St. Louis with a solid ten minutes. That’s marketable somewhere. It doesn’t have to be the same old Thursday-Friday-Saturday model. Six tens on a Tuesday. Rival towns. Rotating lineups. Build a 350-seat room in a place nobody expects. Run ads two weeks out. Sell the energy, not just the names.
There’s a Rubik’s Cube here.
I can see it.
I just have to solve it without blowing up the rest of my life.
Because that’s the other piece. There’s still a lawsuit hanging over me. Still some heavy variables. Still builds in motion that are exciting and scary at the same time.
Some of the shit I’m building right now is crazy.
But I can pull it off.
One step at a time.
I started a new business partnership today that could be profound. The new product stack actually lets me elevate people in a real way again. That part feels good. I’m an asset to people again in a very tangible way.
Now the challenge is doing it ethically.
Moving slower where I need to move slower. Not because I’m scared. Because I want to do it right.
There’s a lot of traffic flying around right now. A lot of variables. One wrong move and you get sideswiped.
So maybe the right move is not leveling up instantly.
Maybe the right move is breathing.
The set tonight wasn’t magic. It wasn’t terrible. It was work. I learned a few things. I had fun.
And I’m sitting here staring at the next mountain wondering which one to climb first.
Breathe, motherfucker.
That’s it for tonight.
Good night.
