Tonight I hit the open mic at The Golden Hoosier, and I’ll tell you what — I had a fucking blast. I was relaxed, I was casual, and I met a nice lady whose name I can’t remember. It was her first time doing stand-up. She was in town for business, decided to rip the Band-Aid off, and give it a shot. She did a good job.
I’m getting better at figuring out how to communicate openly with people while protecting my own energy. That’s a skill — knowing when to walk away if someone’s giving off bad vibes, holding onto myself, and remembering my job is on that stage, not in the corner goofing off.
Now… Friday night’s set was a shit show. Fun, sure, but not comedy. My nerves were wrecked before I even touched the mic because I couldn’t get an image out of my head: my wife, sitting on the bed, sad and wrecked. That image fucked with me the entire time. It still fucks with me when it shows up.
And here’s the thing — no, I didn’t hit her, nothing like that. But I know my size, my voice, and how it can be intimidating. And I know she knows exactly which buttons to push. She does it on purpose sometimes. I can see her side too — this has been hard. We’ve stripped away every other fight in the marriage until there’s only one thing left… and that’s why the divorce is pending.
But Sunday? Sunday was different. We had a little spat in the morning — nothing major — and later, after she went to the gym, we ended up having some great back-and-forth. Just surface-level stuff, but with eye contact, smiles… it felt like two old friends catching up. I even told her, “It makes me feel good to see you in a good mood.” She said it was nice to get out of the house.
And tonight, I didn’t have to fight the image of her sitting there broken. Instead, I had the image of her smiling and talking to me. That changed everything. My performance felt completely different — lighter, freer.
I still fucked up, though. Missed a huge setup in my set — my Joe Pokémon joke. Left out the whole “Pokémon: The Trauma Series” line. But somehow, the punchline still landed. I don’t know if it made as much sense, but when I hit the line “I just wanted to cuddle Char,” they laughed and I got fist bumps.
So that’s today. Not a lot of drama. Just proof that what’s going on in my life plays a huge role in how I perform on stage. The Golden Hoosier was a great room, and I’ll definitely be back.
Note to self: start getting pictures at these open mics.
