Threading the Needle When Everything’s on Fire
2026 is turning out to be a pretty good year so far. Wild ride, but I’m riding the wave and it feels good.
Had a rough day. Getting ready for a high voltage job that’s scary as hell. Historically, I move fast and that gets me hurt. Trying to learn how not to do that anymore.
Legal stuff with lawyers. My wife and I don’t know how to communicate at all. I hear myself say that out loud and think, yeah… no wonder people don’t know what box to put me in.
Group Therapy and New Ground
No Helium tonight, so I went to group. First time all year. Haven’t been since the autism diagnosis in November and starting with a new therapist.
Working from a place of knowing you have autism, with a doctor who also knows you have autism, instead of living in that constant “maybe it’s this, maybe it’s that” space is a relief I didn’t realize I needed. It changes everything.
Had a realization about alcohol too. I’m learning where my boundaries are. If you’re actively trying to get better and acknowledging the work, I’m with you fully. If you’re not, I need some distance. That clarity matters.
Also realized something else tonight. I think I have a genuine female friend. Completely platonic. Known her five years. Weekly conversations about life, kids, fears, real stuff. Tonight was the first time I consciously thought, yeah… that’s my friend. That felt good.
The Nightlife Is Coming Back
Steve’s Hot Dogs was busier than I’ve seen it all year. Last week Helium was packed. Steve’s was packed. Westport Social is picking up.
Nightlife feels like it’s re emerging. We’re at the percolation point. I’ve seen this pattern before. Once it starts, it pops fast. Comedy feels like a really good place to be right now.
Feels a little like channeling my inner Gretzky, skating to where the puck’s going to be. At least right now, it feels like the right move.
Somewhere in all that, I also locked in my first St. Louis showcase. March 30th at Cracked Fox. That one matters to me.
The Set and the People
Steve’s was a little weird tonight. Pinball machine on the stage. Some changes behind the bar. Joe the Animal usually crushes, and tonight he missed a couple cues. Rough start. But he recovered with crowd work and pulled it back. That’s the job.
I had a good set. No complaints. But what really stood out was the respect in the room. The people I’m around now either genuinely understand what I mean when I say I need to get in the right headspace and manage my energy, or they respect it enough to give me space to do it.
That’s new for me.
Boxing can get disrespectful, even on your own team. Anyone who’s been in a real gym knows that. Comedy, at least in moments like tonight, feels different.
Everyone felt like they were helping each other grow. Ron Finger crushed his opening bit. That collaborative vibe shows up at Steve’s sometimes, and it was fully there tonight.
Threading the Eye of the Needle
Getting comics signed up for the Golden Cox Awards. Busy months ahead. Busy year.
I’m threading the needle right now. There’s more pressure on me than I’ve ever had all at once. If I listed out everything I’m dealing with, it would sound overwhelming.
Somehow it doesn’t feel that way.
I’m confident I’m going to walk through all of it.
I think those three weeks of being blind last year changed something in me that I still don’t fully understand. But I feel it working.
Just fucking breathe, man.
Good night.
I love you.
