Holding the Line When the Day Tries to Break You
January 28, 2026 – Purple Quarters / Nick’s Pub
Today was brutal.
Lost an air conditioner at the data center. Motor sheared, blade went straight into the coil. Expensive doesn’t even begin to cover it. Left the building around 1am after walking the floor one more time. Everything’s stable for now. Parts are being flown in. Crew will be there in the morning.
Still doesn’t make it less stressful.
Thank God for Chris.
By the time I got to Purple Quarters, my body finally relaxed. I was having a good time. And then I let something stupid throw me off.
A guy struck up a conversation. Fine at first. Then it turned into alpha posturing and business talk I didn’t want. I told him calmly, more than once, that I didn’t want to have that conversation. Asked him to change the subject or talk to someone else.
He didn’t.
So I walked away.
But the damage was already done. I let it get in my head. I didn’t even want to go up. I almost left. But I went on anyway.
The room was what it was. A bar mic. Mostly comics. No real civilians. That’s not an excuse, just context.
I didn’t have a great set.
What I did have was a productive one.
I worked on material that needs reps. AI psychosis is landing consistently now. The idea is clear. The moment hits. People get it.
I also pushed into a sensitive bit I’m still shaping. I don’t think I handled it perfectly. I may have upset someone without intending to. That’s on me to refine. If I’m going to talk about hard things, I need to do it with precision and responsibility.
The bigger lesson wasn’t about the jokes though.
It was about professionalism.
I enjoy talking to people. I enjoy connection. But tonight reminded me that I can’t let random interactions bleed into my performance. That’s not someone else’s fault. That’s mine.
I should have recognized the escalation earlier and disengaged faster. I did get out before it turned into anything. Nothing happened. But I let it affect my focus, and that’s on me.
That’s part of leveling up.
After the mic, I hung out with Nick and a few others. Talked. Laughed. Came up with some genuinely funny ideas. St. Louis has a deep bench of talented comics, all in different ways.
Later, pizza, conversations about life, time, and the future. The kind of wandering talks that feel small in the moment and stick later.
I’m realizing more and more that not everyone sees the world the way I do. They describe things differently. They feel them differently. That’s not good or bad. It just is.
The world’s getting weird. Faster than most people realize. I hope we figure it out.
Tonight wasn’t about killing.
It was about holding the line when the day tried to break me.
That’s still the work.
